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Realise Your Tantalising Dreams

by Pedro T Gondim

To aim for success in any area of life involves to effectively direct motivation to achieve desired goals. In mental health fields, such as counselling and psychology, most professionals are driven by the motivation to provide support and help improve individuals' quality of life. Albert Schweitzer stated that "success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful". In fact, there are many people in the world who are willing to improve their lives and the lives of others, but sometimes motivation is not enough to achieve desired outcomes, to claim that wanted condition of success. So what is the impediment?

A King's Dilemma

"Tantalus, in Greek mythology, was the king of Sipylos, son of Zeus and father of Pelops and Niobe. Legends narrate that he was admitted to the society of the gods, but his abominable behaviour aroused their anger, and Zeus condemned him to suffer eternally at Tartarus. His punishment was to hang from the bough of a fruit tree over a pool of water. When he bent to drink, the water would recede; when he reached for a fruit, the wind would blow it from his reach. The word Tantalise originated from his name." (The Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia*)

But what relevance does this ancient tale have in today's world? The concept of tantalise in literature has a clear reference to the Greek myth - the aim that is so close, yet so far.

Many people face the same dilemma of Tantalus in today's world. They set their lives on a path, and they visualize their goals; yet they fail to achieve them. What are the reasons for this phenomenon?

The Seven Obstacles

According to Sternberg (1986) there are 7 major reasons for the lack of success among intelligent people:

- lack of motivation

- lack of impulse control

- lack of perseverance

- fear of failure

- procrastination

- inability to delay gratification

- too little/too much self-confidence

The list above illustrates clear deviations into one's journey for success that could be attributed to ‘regular' human characteristics. Most people face these challenges and find themselves lacking answers to overcoming the majority of obstacles in their way. This in turn result in goals being regularly ‘pushed' away, until the individual reaches a point where:

(a) The goals have become unclear and/or;

(b) People don't know how to approach the altered situation (and give up).

This scenario demonstrates the importance of a structured approach to achieving goals. Any situation can become much simpler by using a few guidelines and maintaining a concise approach directed to a specific end. For this purpose, we'll take on Sternberg's list and provide some tips that will help you realise your goals - and achieve your own success.

Lack of Motivation

Motivation is the force that directs you toward your goals. If your motivation is fading, focus on the rewards that your hard work will bring you. The challenge you are taking on is usually directly related to the magnitude of your rewards.

Lack of Impulse Control

Structure your approach. Creating sub-goals, timelines, limitations and task division will help you to maintain a sharp focus towards your final objective(s).

Lack of Perseverance

Be persistent. Don't let your obstacles overcome your plans. Before you begin the journey, remind yourself that difficulties and delays are often quite impossible to foresee; form a mental vision of what you want and cling to it through thick and thin.

Fear of Failure

Fear is part of our nature. Don't deny it; simply learn how to control it. Understanding your fears will equip you with priceless know-how.

Procrastination

Get done what needs to be done. Negative feelings come and go all the time; make sure you cope with them and keep your focus on the benefits, not the problems.

Inability to Delay Gratification

Achievement is an accumulative process; each step you take, the more you are being gratified. Remember that you are using a structured approach - create a reward schedule for every sub-goal you complete.

Too Little/Too Much Self-Confidence

Realise your potential and align that with your focus. If you think you can, you can; but you have limitations - apply that concept to your structured approach, aiming for one goal at a time.

Pedro Gondim is a writer and publisher for the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. The Institute is Australia's largest counsellor training provider, offering the internationally renowned Diploma of Professional Counselling.




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