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In some countries, they believe that once a woman decides to start her own family and give birth to children, she should give herself up. it is her job to ensure the happiness, health and comfort of her family AT THE EXPENSE of her own. Once a woman decides to bear children, she should not complain about not having enough time to pursue her own interests and she's definitely not allowed to have her own life. She should just smile and endure when her day's packed with washing, cleaning, bathing, feeding and cooking. While this boulder has been sitting on a woman's shoulders for...I don't know, ever since forever, modern woman go on with life with another boulder on their other shoulder. To make a living and bring in the income as well. All this while, we don't see any additional duties for men, do we? They can choose to help out but no one would REALLY blame them if they don't. This is not coming out right...I sound like a feminist...which I am not. While motherhood is an all-encompassing job and responsibility and it is something that we really love doing, we should not forget that we, mothers, are actually human beings...STILL. We don't suddenly stop being human beings after being mother. We do NOT have to give everything up to make others happy...although it would be good if mothers could make herself AND others happy in the process. That is the ideal that we're looking for and this can be really tough to achieve. I am going to put another boulder on you...and this is to be responsible for yourself and to ensure that you're happy. This is an important part of being, not only human being and a mother, it's important for you to feel happy and good about yourself so that you will be in a better position to be with your family members. How can you do a good job when you're not entirely happy with your life? So, if you don't have the time to pursue your own interests, join a gym, read a book, go shopping with your friends, surf the internet, read the newspaper, answer nature's call...or SLEEP...find the time to. Don't feel bad about it! Making time means that you'll have to sacrifice something - for instance, if you want to go to the gym after office, get your husband (partner) to pick the kids up during those days. If you want to read a book, read it while your kids are napping instead of mopping up the floor. If you want to go shopping without the kids, drop them off at the sitters for a couple of hours. The most important thing is to help your family members understand why it's important that mom's got to have a life. Well, so what if you cannot have a completely freedom-filled life...at least, you get to do the things that makes you happy once in a while. The few chances that you get to do things on your own, you'll relish it like mad and feel contented. Remember, a happy mother is usually the better one. Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and copy writer who works from her home in Selangor, Malaysia. She loves nothing more than blowing bubbles in the park with her 2 kids, Joshua and Jared. She designs apparel and premium items at www.allmomstuff.com and is the author of "Raising little magicians", and the popular "The Lance in freelancing". More information can be found at www.marshamaung.com |
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