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My heart pounds in my chest,
The pain is so freaking intense.
My skin goes ashen in color,
And sweat starts to pour off of me.
I grab my chest, to seize the pain;
My jaw clenches and I arch my back.
I cannot breath for two reasons,
It hurts that much more if I try,
And my chest feels like
metal bands wrapped around it.
And there simply is no room,
for a single breath of air.
The phone is out of my reach.
And I cannot move to grab for it.
My eyes should be welling with tears,
But I am too scared to cry.
I want to scream out,
But cannot unclench my jaws.
I look around at what may be
my last earthly vision.
And I talk to God.
No more pleading for another day.
If this is the start of the end,
Then let it end today.
Here and now.
I do not want to suffer this again.
At first, my instinct was to get help,
But, I realize that my real fear,
is not in letting go, and passing on,
But staying here and suffering more.
So if this is the start of the end,
Let it end today,
here and now. Deborah Coss, has been writing since she was 8 years old, getting published off and on since 15, and finally realized her child hood dream, of carrying press credentials, when she worked for http://www.womanmotorist.com She now publishes her own site, http://www.1kindthing.com She also creates some fine arts, and loves photographer, commneting that she is a social portraiture photographer. In art, she has a very constructionist attitude in art and loves making masks and other 3 dimensional objects. In photographer, she loves the medium of black and white. She is a diverse writer, and has published several types of sites for several types of businesses. On a personal side, she is a survivor of an extremly violent childhood and some personal trauma, including being crushed by a car at age 3 and half. Thus, her site 1kindthing.com, tells of overcoming hardships, in addition to her many other styles of writing. She is a baby boomer, raised in Southern California.
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