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Let's see, I've been up for, 23.2 minutes. I've done the ‘little private reading room' thing. Clothes or something resembling clothes, are on. A big yawn and stretch. Man, that much exercise wore me out. I need, coffee!! Now where is that darn machine? Oh, I know, ouch!! No, that's the door. I'm missing something. Hmmmm. Oh, my glasses. That should help a bit. I headed out to the kitchen, found the carafe and started filling it with water. Damn, it's cracked! After about an hour or so of looking, I found the glue, right where I knew it would be. I slopped some glue on the crack. Thank goodness there's a mini store next door. I decided to go grab a cup of coffee there while I waited for the glue to dry. Now that's better. The world is coming into focus and the pounding in my head is not quite the jackhammer that it was. I joyously skipped all the way back home. (yeah, I skipped). That was my second mistake of the day. Coffee tends to bounce out of a cup when the cup holder is acting like Tigger. I slurped the dregs from the bottom. Back in the kitchen, I grabbed the well slathered with glue carafe and poured water in. It stayed!!! Thanks to the coffee I managed to salvage from my foray next door, I can now see out of one eye and it's less of a blur out of the other. Now where did I stuff that stupid machine? Ah, yes, it's in a box in the garage. Gently, I opened the garage door. It didn't budge. A sharp yank finally moved it a fraction of an inch. I headed back inside the house to find the aspirin and heating pad. After throwing the aspirin down, I plugged in the heating pad. I headed next door for another cup of Columbian while the wondrous flow of electricity puts heat into the little piece of cloth that I plugged in. I walked back home (I learned my lesson about skipping with coffee). Seated in my most comfortable (and only), chair, I let the warmth flow through my shoulder. I also ponder why that door didn't come open but instead allowed me to wrack my arm. Half an hour of heat and I feel something close to human. I head back to the garage. I think I'll try something different. I turned the doorknob. The door opens with ease. Warning: Never try complicated operations like opening garage doors after only a few sips of coffee. Garage doors know you are not ready and they put up a fight. It took a bit, but I found the box. Gently, I rip it open and manhandle the machine out of its cubicle. Tucked under my arm, I play Quarterback and dash into the house. I don't play sports, do quarterbacks dash? Oh well, this is my story, so they do. Putting the machine on the counter, I plug it in. Water is poured in and after taking everything out of the cupboards I find the coffee sitting on the table where I left it. With a smug smile, I push the on button. Crackle! Snap! I pull the plug and turn the ceiling fan on to get rid of the smoke. Throwing on my shoes I head next door grabbing the shorted out beast and calmly pitch it in the dumpster. This time I got a gigantic cup of coffee! Back at the house, I meander down to the basement. Locating the fuse box, I try to figure out which one blew. With the basement light on, I start to unscrew them one at a time. Nope, that's not it. I head back upstairs and only bump into a couple of walls. The kitchen light is still out. Of course it is. The first fuse I unscrewed was for the basement lights. At least I know right where the flashlight is. I'm getting better; it only took forty-five minutes to find something that was right in front of me. I head back downstairs. I replace the fuse for the basement lights and try again. Found it. I head back up and turn on the television. That's enough adventure for one day. I add one more thing to the shopping list. INSTANT COFFEE Mr. Berry has worked in a variety of industries, from pounding in rails for the railroad to being an Avionic software engineer. Although his job background is varied, one thing never wavered, his love for his family. Because he is so family oriented, he makes sure everything he writes is suitable for all ages. His primary logic is that although he has no choice in growing old, he does not need to grow up. His latest ebook, "Journey into the Surreal" is a collection of short stories that are odd, but funny. With a slanted view of the world, Mr. Berry can find humor in the most mundane of places.
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